DIY Project Organizer

♥️This is a great, thrifty project to organize your upcoming craft projects, homework — anything!

1. Found this frame backing at a thrift store. 2. Put some fabric on it that I love with an adhesive. 3. Added clothespins with hot glue gun. And that’s it!

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It’s now ready for my next project!

♥️,

Rae

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Guest Post By Oneojo

::This is a guest post!::

I’m a legally blind one eyed artist and disability activist that makes work using a variety of 2D & 3D mixed media. The aim with my art is to educate people about living what it’s like with a disability while also making art accessible  to those with disabilities. My goal is to have everyone enjoy art at the same place and time — bridging the gap between those who are disabled and those who aren’t.

Recent work:

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A Mindful Sunday

Sunday is a day I think about the goal I set on Monday as well as how my week went (what I made) and what my upcoming goal will be.

On Monday I decided to keep our kitchen table clear. Nothing on it but flowers. This might seem obvious but we were in a habit of dumping stuff on it and it’s the first thing you see when you walk through our door! It gives me such a peaceful feeling now that it’s clean and pretty.

3E8AF5B2-95B9-465B-92FB-EA0D67A6F6D1I finally put up this wall hanging I made in the nursery. The felt cow is supposed to be jumping over the moon buuuuuut I’m short so I’ll get to that later. Found this print on etsy and will search for shop name.

DF6075EC-E5A8-4C61-B49A-708610BA66D7Loving this braided frame and picture of my grandmother.

509D61C8-266A-42E4-9CEC-131ED0BFDA43.jpegI know that my goal for March is to stop apologizing… right now I’m noticing just how much I do it! Yikes. For Monday my goal is to not look for things I think I need online and use what I have. Basically a spending freeze but for craft supplies. So I’m going to organize what I do have. I’m excited about the upcoming week!

My quote going into this week is an excerpt from a poem by Mary Oliver:

“Instructions for living a life:

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell about it.”

 

♥️,

Rae

PMDD: day 10

A co-morbid disorder called PMDD that kicked in when I was 29 was running my life for years until very recently.  My doctor found a way to treat it, though if you’re like me it’s difficult to treat. Because I’ve had a stroke birth control is off the table but I hear that works for some women.

I double my Prozac and my klonopin for the 10 days before my period to try and save off the worse than usual insomnia, the fatigue, the thought patterns that are very destructive and basically try to convince myself I’m unloved and unlovable and should go somewhere to die.

Before it was treated I remember being in a field, literally pulling my hair out and screaming for it to stop. Years later I still know when it has started.

I think it’s ten days before my period, look at my app’s calendar and boom — right again.

One thing I hate about this disorder is that everyone in my life needs to be aware of it because they can’t tax me with important convos or ask me to make big decisions. This is basically Kardashian time. Especially now that I have a baby. I have to make sure to get the sleep I need to stay sane and to not listen to self hate.

It’s now manageable, but I still don’t like that everyone knows exactly what part of my cycle I’m in.

The intrusive thoughts are with me all day, worsening every day until my period starts. Here is a sample:

Thoughts

Sharing your thoughts is pointless

Why did you think you could have a baby? 

You’re enormous. 

You’re such a failure.

You’re not a crafty person why are you wasting your time?

What are you even doing with your life?

Why are you wasting time with a blog? No one cares. You help no one.

 

— My husband got home and I told him about the thoughts, saying, “they’re intrusive.”

A thought answered me: “You deserve it.”

Sigh.

♥️,

Rae

 

 

 

 

“Mom Sleep”

Today on Instagram I saw a post that said: “Mom Sleep — It’s like normal sleep, without actually sleeping.”

It made me feel terrible. I’m talking deep down shame.

The last time I talked to my psychiatrist I said why — why on earth can’t my body sleep? Why do I require drugs to knock me out? He said it has something to do with a bipolar brain’s wiring.

It made me think of a broken heater or a broken computer. It made me feel broken.

When I was on a typical pregnancy site I asked if when you get a c-section do you have to sleep with the baby — because I can’t do that.  Everyone asked what I would do when the baby comes. I explained that because of my medication my husband would be on call at night. One woman replied, “lucky.”

Lucky.

Lucky that I have to take medication to knock myself out in order to function, lucky that I’m basically helpless to my daughter in the middle of the night, lucky that my body can’t do a typical, normal thing it should totally be able to do.

And it never really did. That makes me sad, too. As a little girl I was so frightened, so awake, so troubled and so totally unaware of what was happening,

But I suppose this is my version of MY “mom sleep.” I’m redefining it.

“Bipolar Mom Sleep. It’s like sleep, except your body can’t sleep so you knock yourself out with heavy drugs and sometimes it doesn’t work and if that happens you get manic and if that happens all hell breaks lose and you could possibly lose everything you love in your life. Bipolar Mom Sleep.”

Okay, okay. FINE. I’ll trrrry to think of it like:

“Bipolar Mom Sleep. You take the right drugs at the right time to get healthy sleep to stay sane and happy.”

 

♥️,

Rae

DIY Love Note Butterfly

Elro is 10 months old today! I wanted to make something special for her. It really catches people’s attention.

1. I wrote a note about what things she likes to do or things she says at 10 months old. 2 and 3. I used A Color Story to make five different shades and patterns. 4. I put them in a document and printed them out on fabric paper.

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5 and 6. I used a butterfly magnet — but you can handraw one — and drew it on the fold. 7. I did the same thing with some sturdy paper. I then layered it: fabric, paper, fabric…. and then, after taking the top fabric butterfly away, I stitched them down the middle.

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Then all I had to do was glue the fabric butterfly to the top of the stitched stack. Finally I glued the entire stack to the headband. ♥️
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I need lotsa help. :)

It’s simple.

I’m disabled. There are some things I am able to do, other things I struggle with, and things that I can not do.
I have every right to be on this planet. I have every right to be loved, loving and madly in love with the world. I have every right to belong.
I made need more help than a typical person, and things like a med change might surprisingly knock me out of my life for awhile, but I’m allowed to find ways to do the things I want to do.
My goal for March is to replace the words “I’m sorry” with “thank you.”

Thank you!

♥️
Rae

Excerpt From “The Warrior” by Andy Palasciano

Andy Palasciano’s new memoir, The Warrior — Tales Of A Substitute Teacher And Job Coach — is amazingly funny, which is not a surprise because Andy is amazingly funny. The book launches this Sunday at the Meraki Cafe at 5:30 where you can get a signed book for 10 dollars!!!!! Everyone and their mother should attend.  Here is an excerpt from his fabulous memoir:

The Substitute

The first class I ever taught was high school math.  I got there late and found no lesson plans.  So I learned, I think from a student, that I was supposed to go over the previous night’s homework.  I looked at the work and had no idea how to do it.

Convinced I had to maintain authoritative control over the class, I stared at them stone-faced, fearing I’d be exposed as a fraud.

“You in the front row,” I told a student.  “Come up and do the problem on the board.  And class, you tell them if he’s right or wrong.  I’m not going to help you.  You guys should know how to do this stuff.”

It worked.

I got another assignment similar to that one.  Waking up late, I threw pants on my mom had just bought me and I drove to class.  Still trying to maintain authoritative poise in this high school math class, I spotted a girl raising her hand and snapped at her, “What?”   “Do you know you have a tag from the store on those pants?”  I quieted the class, but 10 minutes later, that same girl raised her hand:  “Do you know you have another tag on those pants?”

I am more careful with my attire these days.

Teaching another class -high school French?- two students came up to my desk and asked if they could get a drink.  “Ok,” I told them, amazed at how well I was handling this class.  The students came back, their arms full of soda, and started calling out, “Who had the 7up? And the Doctor Pepper?” and began distributing the cans around the class.

I think I got a Diet Coke.

 

New meds, new shirt!

Valentine’s morning with my beautiful daughter would not be possible without the medications I’m on. This last med change was difficult, this disorder is difficult, which is why I’m so damn proud to still be here and enjoying life. So, meet my new meds! It feels so good to be wearing them! If you also want to be a total badass, pick up your own Meet My Meds shirt at spooniesistershop on etsy and make sure to tag me with your pic of you in your shirt so I know where my not-basic-…peeps are. ♥️Rae